10 Ways to Opt Out of a Default Life

Hey, you. If you’ve found yourself here, I’m guessing something about the idea of “opting out” resonated with you. Maybe life feels a little… autopilot-y right now. Wake up, commute, work, scroll, sleep, repeat—and somewhere in the madness, you’re wondering, Is this really it?

First off: you’re not alone. So many of us get swept up in the current of expectations, routines, and external pressures. Society loves to sell us a checklist for happiness—college, career, house, followed by the promise that if you tick enough boxes, fulfillment will eventually arrive. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Not necessarily.

But here’s the good news. You don’t have to settle for a “default life.” You can step off the hamster wheel and create something that feels truer to who you are. Sound like a tall order? Don’t worry—I’m not promising an overnight transformation or asking you to quit your job and join a mountaintop commune (unless, of course, that’s the dream). What I am offering are small, intentional steps to move closer to a life that feels like it belongs to you. Ready? Let’s do this.

1. Define What "Enough" Means for You

Ever feel like you’re chasing milestones without really knowing why? It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle, believing more is better—more success, more money, more stuff. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself, What’s enough for me? Sit with this question for a bit. Enough could mean financial security, time with loved ones, space for creativity… or simply the freedom to slow down. Knowing your enough lets you silence the noise and focus on what truly matters.

2. Reclaim Your Mornings

Starting your day on your own terms can be surprisingly powerful. If your mornings feel rushed or chaotic, it’s worth carving out even 10 minutes for something grounding. Maybe it’s enjoying your coffee uninterrupted, journaling, stretching, or just sitting in silence (yes, even that counts). Beginning the day with intention sets the tone for everything that follows.

3. Do a Values Check-In

When was the last time you asked yourself, What do I really stand for? Living someone else’s version of success often means we compromise our values—or don’t even know them to begin with. Write down three things that matter most to you in life. Are your choices, relationships, and how you spend your time in alignment with those values? If not, what small adjustments can you make?

4. Stop Saying Yes Out of Obligation

You don’t have to accept every dinner invitation, help with every project, or join every committee. Seriously, it’s okay to say no. Default living often comes from default people-pleasing. Start small: the next time you feel an automatic "yes" slipping out, pause and ask yourself, Do I really want this? Your time and energy are precious. Spend them wisely and unapologetically.

5. Break Up With "Shoulds"

Ah, the “shoulds.” I should go to grad school. I should buy that house. I should work harder. Where do those voices even come from? It’s like society planted a little seed of guilt in your brain and let it grow wild. Instead, ask yourself: What do I honestly WANT? Get curious about your motivations. If a "should" isn’t actually serving you, it’s time to rethink it.

6. Dream Small (And Big)

Not everyone dreams of building an empire or changing the world—and that’s perfectly okay. Sometimes your dream might be as simple as spending more time gardening or picking up an old hobby. Let yourself have small dreams alongside the big ones. They’re just as valid, and sometimes even more fulfilling.

7. Choose Curiosity Over Comfort

It’s easy to get cozy in the familiar—even when the familiar doesn’t actually make us happy. If you’ve felt a little stuck lately, invite curiosity into your life. Try something new, visit a place you’ve never been, take a class, or meet people outside your usual social circle. Stretching outside your comfort zone can lead to growth (and sometimes a lot of fun).

8. Take Breaks From the Digital Treadmill

Let’s be real—scrolling Instagram at 11 p.m. probably isn’t making you feel any closer to your best life. Challenge yourself to unplug regularly. Maybe that’s a 24-hour social media detox, or simply creating phone-free zones like your bedroom or dinner table. When you’re not constantly consuming, you leave space to actually create or just be.

9. Surround Yourself With Expanders

You know those people who make you feel like anything is possible? The ones who are chasing their dreams, living authentically, and cheering you on? Find them and hang on tight. Surrounding yourself with expanders—people who inspire you to grow—can light the path toward what’s possible for your own life. You don’t need to do this alone.

10. Celebrate “Enough” Every Single Day

Once you start opting out of default, it’s easy to think, What’s next? What’s the next step toward my dream life? But don’t lose sight of the beauty in where you already are. Practice gratitude for the small joys—your morning tea, a conversation with a friend, a quiet moment of peace. A life lived intentionally isn’t about the destination; it’s about the journey.

I know breaking free from the default can feel overwhelming, maybe even scary. But here’s the thing: your life is yours. Whether it’s baby steps or bold moves, every effort you make to design a life that feels right to you is worth it. So, go ahead—take one step today. Maybe that looks like journaling, or saying no to something you don’t actually want, or reclaiming your morning.

You’ve got this. And whenever you need a reminder that you’re empowered to create your own path, come back here. I'll be cheering you on.

Mahalo ❤️

If this resonated with you, I’d love to invite you into our Mahalo community on Mighty Networks. It’s a space where you’ll find connection, encouragement, and resources to help you live a happier, healthier, more meaningful life—surrounded by people who truly get it.

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👉 Join us here – your seat is waiting. We can’t wait to welcome you in.